Monday, August 31, 2009

Between the Altar and the Door

Happy Monday! I've heard reports that it's surprisingly cool outside and weather.com says the high will only be 87 today. Hot diggity! (Or should I say, cold diggity?)

I had a long talk with my best friend on Friday. She got married one year, one month, and two days before me. Not long after her wedding, she and her husband moved to a new city and started a life together where they knew no one. It was wonderful to hear that she struggles with the same feelings I've been struggling with. It was good for my heart. We were able to laugh at ourselves and encourage one another. I'm going to have to call her more often...

Yesterday at church I realized that all along we have trusted that the Lord has a plan that was far more perfect than we ever could dream or imagine! However, that plan may or may not include a job. But for now, I have an unprecidented opportunity to become a prayer warrior on behalf of my husband, family, and friends. I've been given a beautiful four-bedroom "prayer closet"! Since I'm home alone all day, I can fall on my face or dance before the Lord with no shame! What a precious opportunity I've been missing... I left church so ready for today to be different! I was deteremined to do what the Lord was calling me to do.

However, this morning the couch is extra soft and my pajamas super comfy. The excuses are many and the motivation is low. I'm very much reminded of one of my favorite Casting Crown songs: "Between the Altar and the Door".

Careless, I am reckless
I'm a wrong-way traveling, slowly unraveling, shell of a man
Burnt out, I'm so numb now
That the fire's just an ember way down in the corner, of my cold, cold heart
Lord this time, I'll make it right, here at the altar I lay my life
Your Kingdom come but my will was done, my heart is broken as I cry...
Like so many times before
But my eyes, are dry before I leave the floor, oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus, how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door
Here at the altar, my world so black and white
How could I ever falter
What You've shown me to be right
I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Jesus, I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard
Just let You be who You are
Lord, who You are in me
Oh Lord I cry
Like so many times before
But my eyes are dry before I leave the floor, Oh Lord
I try but this time, Jesus how can I be sure, I will not lose my follow through
Between the altar and the door

Friday, August 28, 2009

Tae Bo and a Month-a-versary



Yesterday was our second "month-a-versary". Our first month-a-versary was decidely disappointing due to a bad interview and a powerful pain pill/laughing gas combination so we decided to really celebrate our second month as husband and wife. I met DJ for lunch at school and had a blast. (I even wore a skirt and pearls!) When he came home from work he was carrying this:
(Ignore the clutter and the empty wedding picture frames - focus on the rose!!) We had a great evening just hanging out together... We picked up Mexican food from our favorite little local spot and sat on the couch and watched "Because I Said So" together. It was so wonderful to just be together and enjoy being newlyweds so very madly in love!
Today hasn't been nearly as wonderful as last night, to say the least. We both woke up slightly grumpy and had a difficult time getting the day going. After discovering that the job openings posted on a certain school district's website had already been filled, I had myself a good long cry. After chats with my mom and my husband I packed up my gloomies in a box, sat on the lid, and laughed. Actually, I made a grocery list - but whatever. After digging through websites and cookbooks I have assembled a menu of mainly new recipes that I'm excited to try. I've had fairly good luck thus far (although I screwed up the scrambled eggs this morning) and am feeling brave enough to try some more complex recipes. We'll see how it goes!
I then decided to give Tae Bo another try. Here are my revelations from this go round:
--I did much better this time. I didn't reach the flailing monkey status until at least half way through the tape. And my muscles didn't reach a Jell-O like consistency until the next to the last set. This was a huge improvement for me!
--My spandex-clad friend could not possibly get that sweaty doing warm-ups, shoulder rolls, and stretches. I'm convinced they either tape the routine out of order, do a bazillion takes, or spray the man down with a spray bottle!
--I find I punch much harder when I imagine a face of a person I know on the wall. When this doesn't work I pretend to punch the fool out of Billy Blanks. I must be careful, however. I got a little too close to the TV.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Tae Bo

Yesterday I did Tae Bo. I now remember why I stopped doing it... I had a few revelations while I huffed and puffed my way through the tape.

--I will never be as coordinated as the people on the tape. That is why I have a teaching certificate and they are getting paid to do Tae Bo in front of a camera.
--The people on the tape look cool doing jabs and round house kicks. The reflection I saw in the glass on the entertainment center looked more like a flailing monkey.
--Puppies and Tae Bo don't mix. I kicked Marley clear to the dinning room. He avoided me the rest of the day.
--Billy Blanks is very up beat and encouraging. He also wears very tight spandex.
--After punching the wall and kicking the air, I'm very sore. Therefore, there is great debate about what to do today - rest or do Tae Bo again. I think I shall scrub the toilets while I ponder.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Staying at home...

Yesterday was D.J.'s first day of school and I stayed at home all day. I learned several things...

1. When you are out of the canned dog food that your dog LOVES you can not add water to the dry dog food to create your own gravy. Dogs know the difference between chicken in a can and dry food you've turned into mush.
2. When said dog doesn't eat breakfast, she is grumpy the rest of the day and tends to vomit on the carpet.
3. My Cricut machine can't create a shadow for 5 1/2" letters.
4. Staying at home is not for the faint at heart. You're left at home alone with your worst critic and a to do list with no accountability.
5. I have little or no self-discipline. (Except when it comes to putting myself down - that happens to be one of my most consistent activities.)
6. Holding all of your emotions in all day leads to a complete and total melt-down when your husband comes home at the end of the day.
7. Flour weevils actually lay their eggs on the plant before it is harvested. They survive the milling process and hatch out in your flour a few months later. These weevils then ruin the cookies you're trying to make for your husband to celebrate his first day of school.
8. Air Bake pans make perfect snickerdoodle cookies!
9. Dogs are not the best conversationalists.
10. When you run to Wal-Mart and try to get in and out in 30 minutes or less you absolutely will forget something you need.

Monday, August 24, 2009

What a very busy couple of days it has been! My head and heart are still reeling from it all... Way back in December when we set our wedding date, we knew that we would be able to enjoy an extended honeymoon and have tons of time to set up the house. What we didn't expect was how spoiled we would get. We had grown accustomed to seeing each other only on the weekends (that's what happens when you fall in love with guy on eHarmony I suppose!) and were used to having a relationship with our phones. However, all of that changed when school got out. We've been together pretty much all day every day since June 6th. It has been like a fairy tale! We have loved every second of it! We both knew that it would come to an end eventually...
Last week D.J. had inservice (read: lots of long, boring meetings about a whole lot of nothing) and I joined him Thursday afternoon, Friday, and Saturday to get his tennis office and classroom organized, cleaned, and ready for a brand new year. (It's amazing how messy and unorganized things got last year when we were spending so much time driving between two cities!)
On Thursday we had to go shopping for a few school supplies to start the year. In the middle of the dry erase markers at Mardel, I suddenly dissolved into tears. My heart was broken that I didn't have a classroom to shop for and I couldn't stop crying for the career I'd left behind. I struggled through the rest of the trip with my faithful husband encouraging and loving me every step of the way. As we were checking out I had a sudden realization: If I'm going to say with my mouth that I'm trusting God's plan for this year, then I need to follow through with my heart, emotions, and actions. Letting myself mope and cry my way through Mardel without fighting for Truth was simply not an option!
As we drove to the next store, I gave myself a good slapping and decided to suck it up and choose joy. Shopping at Wal-Mart was so much more enjoyable because of it! There were still moments where I had to choke back tears, but I got to enjoy the time with my sweet husband. That's far more precious than me being miserable and wallowing in my own pride.
Friday and Saturday we worked in his classroom and tennis office. I was able to thoroughly enjoy organizing and labeling everything. It was such a great time! Saturday night we went to see "Julie & Julia". Such a great movie!! (The previews were horrible. I had to step into the hall and wait for the movie to start.) I loved the beautiful picture of marriage. There were two marriages pictured and in both relationships, the spouses were madly in love and remained faithful despite the trials, tribulations, and tears of life. I highly recommend it to all ages! (D.J. loved it too! Gals, bring your husbands along!)
Sunday morning, the message was all about salvation. It was a story I've heard a million times over in my life. But for some reason, this time as the pastor prayed with people crossing the line of faith, tears flowed down my face. I was struck by the power of the moment - the fact that their eternity was forever changed in the blink of an eye. I felt so blessed to just be in the room as the heavens rejoiced. There are so many times I take my salvation for granted - like God owes it to me! What a ridiculous, prideful notion!!
So that brings us to today... D.J. started his first class of the year about an hour ago. I'm determined to spend the day praying for him and working around the house. Since I've been helping D.J. in his classroom the past several days I haven't done much laundry or dishes or cleaning so my plan is to do a lot of catching up today! So off my duff, unload the dishwasher, and get the laundry going! Here we go!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Moving Musings...

Yesterday I was incredibly productive and got a lot of things done! All of my education stuff has been moved into the guest bedroom and we officially have our dining room back. New pictures are in several picture frames and there are even a few pictures on the wall! We'll have to take them down as soon as we paint, but that won't be for a while...
While I was home alone cleaning and moving (tons of) boxes I did a lot of thinking. Here's a summary of my thoughts:

*Sometimes there are noises outside. If I'm not careful, my over active imagination convinces me that it's a scary masked man ready to break in and kill me and my puppies. Usually, it's something as simple as rain hitting the window or someone taking their garbage to the curb. I have to be careful not to let my imagination run away with me.
*I'm happy at home and I enjoy making a home for D.J. But I don't know if I want to do it forever. Once all of the boxes are un-packed and the paint is on the walls, will I continue to fill my days or will I sit and watch TV without purpose?
*I'm completely at peace waiting on the Lord. I have no clue what He's doing but I'm at peace. It's a weird place to be. Completely unsure of the future, completely at peace in what my Lord is doing.
*I pondered a lot about how to make much of God and much less of me. In the classroom, this was easy for me to see most of the time. Now that I'm at home, it's much more difficult. How do I make much of Him when I'm home alone with two puppies?
*Marley (our puppy) won't go to the bathroom outside for me - only D.J. I sure hope this trend doesn't continue. Cleaning up puppy piddles isn't fun!
*I love being a hostess. I love sharing my home and cooking with family and friends. I need to seek this out more often!

I moved lots of boxes yesterday and I'm very sore and sleepy. A nap is sounding better by the minute!! Maybe I should grab another cup of coffee... (Or maybe I should just give in and sleep!)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A new beginning?

The hubby started work yesterday and I met my mom in Hillsboro for some lunch, shopping, and good old fashioned girl time! It was wonderful!! Today, I have no such grand plans. I have a to do list started and very high hopes for all the things I can accomplish today. We'll see how it goes. :) We're still waiting on the Lord to see what He has in mind. We've talked about a lot various options, but no decisions have been made. For now, we have peace about just waiting and trusting.
In other news, our new puppy has learned the word "hungry". It makes meal time so much more fun! We're enjoying having two dogs and I love watching them play together. This morning, the puppy ran around for ten minutes just throwing toys in the air and doing laps around the coffee table. Why can't we all have that kind of energy?
Now I'm off to organize books and picture frames. Here's hoping I can get enough done today that my husband will be impressed when he comes home!

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Cakes

D.J. and his niece have birthdays only five days apart. I took on the task of cake making and was put in charge of all birthday cakes from now on... Here's my attempts at cake decorating! First, D.J.'s R2D2 cake:







His niece wanted a tie-dye soccer ball cake. It was quite the experiment in cake baking, but I think I pulled it off!!

Getting started...

So in all of the free time I seem to have floating around me, I decided to start a blog! I enjoy reading other blogs and thought it might be nice to have one for myself and our new family... I'm new to this whole thing so bear with me as I learn how to work through it!

Here's the news from our neck of the woods - in completely random order!

1. We're married! We love it!
2. We have two dogs - Cua and Marley. In the afternoons, we love them. When they wake us up super early to be let out and fed, we're not too happy with them. Marley is a 5 month old Malti-poo and Cua is a 4 year old Shih-poo. We really aren't in love with poodle mixes like it might seem - these dogs kind of landed in our laps and we've provided a loving home.
3. D.J. starts school on Monday. I still don't have a job. We'll see how this goes! For now, we're trusting that God's plan is bigger and more perfect than we can imagine. So we wait and trust and pray for wisdom.
4. D.J. had a tooth pulled on Thursday and is still taking pain pills as he heals. Some of his comments crack me up! He has no clue what he's saying!!

I think that's about it... We'll see how this goes!