Thursday, August 25, 2016

6 months

Dear Abigail,

Monday was your 6 month check up. 6 months ago we struggled for every single ounce of weight gain. I could hardly stand under the weight of worry and fear and concern. But at this check up you landed yourself so beautifully in the middle of the growth curve I wanted to shout! That tiny baby who struggled to stay awake long enough to eat is now a baby who fights naps and has big fat rolls on her cute little thighs! 

I am so used to the dr saying you look perfect at our check ups that I have to tell you, Monday was a shock. The dr didn't tell us you were perfect. She's worried that you're not rolling enough. And she doesn't like that you only roll to one side. The diagnosis? Torticollis. Basically a tightened neck muscle that limits your head movement. The good news? Torticollis is easy to fix! A few stretches, a little physical therapy, and we're good to go! The bad news? When torticollis starts at 6 months instead of at birth, it indicates a bigger problem. The dr looked you over 2 or 3 times and decided to check your vision. A funny looking machine that had flashing lights and chirped like a bird gave us answers. And they weren't pretty. The nurse said you "failed significantly." My heart dropped to my stomach and stayed there. 

Since Monday afternoon (it's now Thursday morning) I have done hours and hours of research on-line. I have searched everywhere I know to get answers. The only thing I know for sure is that the doctor urged us to get an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist sooner rather than later. So we have an appointment September 17th. Until then, we wait. We wait and pray and try our hardest not to worry. 

This morning I read Isaiah 45. And suddenly, I had my answers. Over and over Isaiah reminds us that there is no other God. That He made us, He sustains us, He leads us, and He holds us close. 
"I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name." (Isaiah 45:11) 
He's got this, dear one. He formed you, He knows you, and He's calling you by name. So while this momma works not to worry and obsess and generally freak out, I'll trust the God who made you. The God who made your eyes and knows exactly what you can see. 

I love you, my sweet sweet Abigail. You have filled our family with such joy and I am so glad God gave us you!