Friday, June 20, 2014

My sweet Noah

Dear Noah,

Can I be honest for a moment? Being a mommy is the hardest thing I've ever done! It's absolutely worth every moment, but it's a tough job. I can't tell you how often I worry that I'm doing something wrong - that I'll mess up so badly that you and Caleb will never recover.

But tonight, when you got fussy during dinner, my mommy heart knew just what to do. I bundled you up in your favorite Winnie the Pooh blanket, stuck your pacifier in your mouth, and headed to our favorite chair. In moments I felt you relax into me as your eyes slowly shut. I may question myself more times than you can imagine, but tonight my heart knew I did something right. While your daddy cleaned up the kitchen (thank you Daddy!) I sat and just snuggled you close. I want to remember how big you feel in my arms because in the blink of an eye you won't fit anymore and I'll long for you to be little again. I want to remember how your soft brown hair sticks straight up - kind of like a baby monkey! I never want to forget those gorgeous long lashes or the perfect curve of your tiny ear. I want to snuggle you close while you grab a fist full of blanket and pull it close to your face. I tried to put you down so I could help daddy clean but you immediately protested leaving the warmth of my arms. Without hesitating, I scooped you back up and pulled you in close. You nuzzled your face down into my arm - like you needed to breathe in my scent to make sure it was really me. In no time at all, your eyes were closed again and you were sleeping soundly.

In the wonderful, snuggle-filled moments - I love you! In the stressful, tear-filled moments - I love you! I am so glad you're my little boy and I promise to love you - no matter  what. But can you stay little for a while? I know how fleeting these sweet sleepy snuggly moments are! I love you my precious Noah! Always and forever...


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

2 months

 Note: I've written this post several times, but my computer keeps blowing it away! With two little boys under two years old, life is busy most of the time. I struggle to find time to sit down and write this post once - forget having to write it three times! 

Dear Noah,

I remember thinking 2 months flew by when your brother was little. But I feel like you've always been a part of our family! I can hardly remember what life was like before you joined us! The first month was rough - I won't lie! But this month I feel like we've turned a corner. We have learned a few tricks and tips that help calm you down and it's made a huge difference! You love when we sing the William Tell Overture while we bounce you up and down. You want to be wrapped up in a big blanket with your blanket across your cheek. (You hate to be cold.) You don't want to have your arms swaddled down to your side - you'd much rather have them up by your face. You love to sleep on your tummy in your bed or on your side in the swing. I've learned that caffeine and strawberries aggravate your reflux. Learning that bit of information made me quite sad but it's worth it just so you aren't in pain! You've become a much better nurser in the past month and are much more efficient. That's good news for all of us!

At the doctor today you weighed 12lbs, 5.5oz and were 23 1/4 inches long. Your weight has bloomed up to the 75% and Dr. Thomason kept commenting on how big you are. But after watching your brother ride the 98th percentile for a long time, you're still tiny to me. I love seeing the fat rolls on your thighs and your sweet, round belly. You slowly graduated out of newborn diapers and I expected the same thing for your newborn clothes. I always look forward to just one last time to wear my favorite outfits in a particular size. Instead, you woke up one day and none of your newborn clothes fit anymore. You all of a sudden needed 0-3 month clothes! I was quite surprised!

The day you turned 7 weeks old, you gave me your first very purposeful smile! The weeks of sleepless nights seemed to fade away in that precious moment. You're smiling more and more and give us lots of sweet coos. It warms my heart more than I ever could have dreamed!

This month, I remarked several times that you looked less like your brother and more like "Noah". Then we found a few pictures of your brother at 2 months old and I realized just how wrong I was. You look much more like Caleb than I thought! Growing up, I never looked much like my siblings. What a blessing to know you boys look so much like brothers!

Both of you at your 2 month appointments. Caleb is on the left.
This month I got to celebrate my second Mother's Day! Last year I hadn't even started to dream about adding another baby to our family, and now here you are! It wasn't the biggest celebration ever since I came down with a vicious stomach bug and it was round 3 of the bug for our house. (Your brother and daddy got it first...) But it was still a wonderful day full of love and snuggles. I am so blessed to be your mommy! I never could have dreamed that God would give me 2 precious snuggle bugs!

This month you also got to take your first trip to Waco to see Gaga and PaPaw! You weren't a fan of being in your car seat for that long, but we survived. You rewarded everyone there with a weekend full of snuggles and smiles! Your brother didn't sleep much while we were there so your sweet smile was a true joy for your sleepy parents.

Even through the sleep deprivation and the long, tough days I am madly in love with you my little Snicker Snacker! I'm so lucky to be your Mom! You are my precious little guy and I am blessed to watch you grow! Just don't grow too fast, please. I love you my Sugar Bear!