Fred, an Obituary

If you were to read your appliance manuel this morning, you would see a picture of Fred the Ghetto-tastic Dryer in the obituaries section. Last night, at about 8:30, Fred began banging and walking across the laundry room floor once again. We instantly knew what had happened. When we took off the front panel, it was all too clear - Fred's motor had shredded the hose clamp we installed less than a week ago. And, in true ghetto-tastic fashion, Fred passed away when he was full of damp clothes and the washer was full of sopping wet towels. (Both loads were carried next door to our sweet neighbor!) I'm not sure what to say about Fred in his obituary. He wasn't ever really a great dryer - at least not when I knew him. He never really seemed to like me much! I suppose he did last a good number of years but couldn't come through when we needed him most! He is already greatly missed - especially by Guinnevere (our washing machine). I think I even heard her crying this morning. In lieu of flowers, please send cash for a new dryer (and a truck to haul Fred to the junk yard).