Pioneer Woman I am not...

My son spits up. He spits up a lot. Sometimes it's cute because he smiles while it runs down his chin. Sometimes it's not so cute when we're running late and he soaks us both. My original plan was to use receiving blankets to wipe up dribbles and use an occasional cloth diaper to clean the bigger spit ups. The reality is that I now own 31 burp rags and never leave the house without 2 tucked in the diaper bag, one in the car seat, and usually one across my shoulder. We have them everywhere!!! Therefore, it's rather frustrating that one package of burp rags isn't as thick and absorbent as the others. I dread when those are at the top of the pile and I end up with one of those across my shoulder. I just know it's one good spit up away from soaking through to my shirt. So when someone mentioned to me this morning that I could make them more absorbent by boiling them for 10 minutes I was thrilled. I immediately put it on my to do list! Therefore, when I was folding laundry this afternoon and discovered that all 10 of the bag rags were clean at once I quickly pulled out my largest pot. The story of my adventure follows:

So there we were, enjoying a quiet Friday afternoon. Caleb was peacefully napping and I was ready to get these burp rags in the pot! At first I attempted to stuff all 10 in one pot, but I quickly discovered they wouldn't fit. I figured 5 rags at a time wasn't too bad so I shoved them in there and filled the pot with water. I turned the stove on high, poked the burp rags with some tongs a few times, and walked away. Then, my ADD exhausted new mommy brain took over and I took total leave of my senses. I began putting things away around the house. I picked up the stuff that mysteriously accumulates on the coffee table, I examined my hair do in the mirror, I told myself if I was a good stay at home mom I'd hang up those clean clothes thrown in the chair, I sat down and began reading blogs of people I don't even know. And then I heard it. That unmistakable sound of water boiling over and hitting a very hot stove top. I'm not sure how the lap top got to the floor - I may have thrown it, I may have dropped it, or I may have set it down gently - I just know that I high tailed it to the kitchen to assess the damage. The water was boiling over so violently that I wasn't quite sure how to grab the pot and pull it away. I reached around and turned off the burner and then managed to grab the pot and slide it to a cooler part of the stove. And then I just stood there, staring at my steaming pot of burp rags and water boiling away on a hot burner. (Praise the Lord for a glass-top stove!) Suddenly I realized I had no plan for what to do with the burp rags now that I'd boiled them and I had no idea how long they'd been boiling. Should I let everything cool and then try again with the next batch? Should I keep boiling this batch? Should I try to remove these burp rags and try to use the already hot water for the other batch? When I did remove the burp rags where in the world was I going to put them? So I stood there, literally scratching my head, and wondering what I'd gotten myself into...

I finally decided that my best bet was to pull the burp rags out with some tongs and put them in a bowl. However, when I got to the cabinet I realized my biggest plastic bowl was in the fridge full of yummy leftovers. So I had no choice but to use my large stainless steel mixing bowl. As I stood there holding steaming hot boiled burp rags I realized a metal bowl was not my best option. But what was I going to do? I couldn't really wander around the kitchen with a drippy cloth diaper clutched in my tongs... So I loaded up the metal bowl and careful drained out the excess water. I left it to cool on the counter and added the other 5 burp rags to the pot. I was determined not to make the same mistake this time, so I didn't add any water and I never left the stove. As I sat there poking at my pot of fabric I wondered how many homemakers had done this before. How many women had boiled their clothes in an effort to clean them? Suddenly it dawned on me. I am no pioneer woman. I'm so firmly attached to my 21st century luxuries I would make a horrible pioneer! I smelled something burning and furiously began stirring the burp rags around in an attempt to stop the fabric from burning and sticking to the bottom of the pot, much like cheese or noodles tend to do. Then it hit me - the fabric wasn't burning. It was the water and minerals on the bottom of the pot that were cooking off as the burner heated up. I rolled my eyes and thanked the Lord for putting me in this century and not the 1800s.

I carefully watched the clock to know when the burp rags would be finished, but completely forgot to remember what time they started boiling. I just knew what time it currently was. As I stood there attempting to stir fabric, I left my wrist over the pot a little too long. I now have several small red spots where the bling on my bracelet heated up and burned my skin. (I'm telling you - ADD exhausted new mommy brain is the worst!) When I got tired of poking at the burp rags I decided that enough was enough and took them off the burner. Then I was met with another debate - what bowl did I use now? The first batch was still steaming so I knew I couldn't touch them quite yet. Then suddenly I remembered! We had several large plastic bowls we keep for serving chips at all the many wild parties we throw. I could use one of those!

So now I have 2 bowls of steaming burp rags sitting on my counter. One bowl is way too hot to touch and the other is pretty and purple with little polka dots around the top. I'm not sure what to do from here. I attempted to pick up a burp rag, only to discover that the top had cooled nicely but the bottom retained its heat like you wouldn't believe! So I turned the burp rags over like the strangest tossed salad anyone has ever seen, and left them to cool. I don't know if they're more absorbent or not. I know they're hot! I know that pretty purple bowls work better for hot things than stainless steel. I know that I am not a pioneer woman. And that's how I narrowly escaped death...

Today

Today, I had big plans. Special, wonderful, amazing plans. My dear friend Brandi was supposed to come visit. She and her husband were going to spend the night. I was supposed to get to spend two days in a row with her! We were going to have uninterrupted visiting. Visits that weren't interrupted by a nurse coming to draw blood or another bag of chemo hooked up to an IV. I had dreams of telling her all of my adventures in mothering and hearing the latest updates from her 2 sweet children. It was going to be a little taste of heaven right here in my living room.

But yesterday, Caleb started coughing. The doctor said it's probably nothing major. It's probably just a cold. But it could be much more. It could be something as scary as RSV. So Brandi can't come.

You see, 16 months ago Brandi woke up and had some trouble walking. Thinking she'd had a stroke, her husband took her to the hospital. The doctors said it wasn't a stroke. It was cancer. Brain cancer. A scary, aggressive tumor that had taken hold of her precious brain. The details of that day are forever etched in my memory like some horrible, awful, never ending nightmare. In the past 16 months Brandi and her husband have thrown their heart and soul into the fight against the tumors in her brain. A month ago, the scan showed what no one wanted to see. The tumors were growing. When I found out my heart dropped. Growth? There couldn't be growth! We'd been praying! We had a connection with a God bigger than cancer. How could there be growth?!?!

Brandi immediately started aggressive chemo. In the past month, she hasn't been feeling well. Everything looks like the cancer is winning. I wish I had words to describe how I feel. Because Caleb has a little cough, Brandi can't come see me. It's just too risky. I spent a good part of the morning crying in my selfishness that I wouldn't get to see Brandi today. Then I cried that Brandi might be called home. I wanted to kick and scream and beat my fists against the chest of an almighty God. God, being the amazing Father that He is, let me throw my temper tantrum, then quietly sat me down in my favorite chair and told me to pick up my Beth Moore Bible study. I rolled my eyes at the sight of the book because I'm so far behind on the homework assignments. (Life with a newborn is more of a challenge than I thought it would be!) But I couldn't shake the quiet whisper in my heart that said I needed to pick up the book and get in the Word. So I did. And in big, beautiful letters across the top of the page were words that I know were written just for me.

"Every good and perfect gift comes from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with Him there is no shadow or change." (James 1:17)

It's one of Brandi's favorite verses. Her blog is built around it. And suddenly, it felt like Brandi was in my living room - that little piece of heaven I'd been longing for. The Lord reminded me that my life was full of good and perfect gifts. Brandi and I have been friends for years and I've been blessed by her wisdom a thousand times over. She's a good and perfect gift in my life. I know that I'll get to spend eternity with her praising a God who never changes!

Today is not what I dreamed it would be. But today God had a fantastic plan that was bigger than my little plans. So I'll trust that whatever happens at her doctor's appointment tomorrow is a beautiful part of His plan. I'll trust that His healing is complete and perfect - whether it's on this earth or in a beautiful homecoming. God is still God. That's all I need to know...

2 Months

Dear Caleb,

You are 2 months old! Wow! I'm amazed at how much you've grown this month. You are still a very easy going baby and seem to grow happier with each passing day. I love seeing your sweet smile several times a day now. You even rewarded us on your 2 month birthday with the most precious little giggle! Thank you for waiting until we were both with you to laugh for the first time. :- )



Your outfit here says "So Big!"



Note to Mommy: Don't wait until AFTER you get shots to take the monthly pictures!



At the beginning of the month you were still struggling with some awful gassiness and cried like you were in horrible pain. I hated every moment of it! Not long after your 1 month birthday I realized that you were fussiest after I had a glass of milk. (My absolute favorite drink!) As soon as I stopped drinking milk, you stopped crying. Over the course of the month I've cut back on more and more dairy and you've nursed better and better. We hardly ever have any problems with painful gas now! Even though I've had to give up some of my very favorite foods, it's all worth it just so we can continue breastfeeding. You are a champion nurser and are growing like a weed! At your 2 month check up you weight 15.5 pounds - that's the 98th percentile! However, you were only in the 9th percentile for height at a tiny 22". (That's less than an inch of growth since birth.) Your daddy and I are pretty convinced they measured you wrong because we can see your growth in your car seat, bouncer, and swing. You're also quickly growing out of 0-3 month clothing. Mommy is shocked to see you fitting comfortably in 3-6 month outfits!



Where is Caleb?

I still love staying home with you. We make a pretty good team throughout the day. Some days we have a fantastic routine, other days that routine is right out the window from the first moment of the day. We go to ladies Bible study on Tuesday mornings and you are a HIT! The ladies love passing you around. You usually nap through the teaching time which is perfect. Every other Friday we go to MOPS and you get to be a Moppet. Right now you're staying with me, but you'll eventually go to the nursery with the other Moppets.



What a cute little boy you are!

You like tummy time a lot more than you did last month - especially now that you have a lot more neck strength! We've tried playing with toys but you're not quite ready. I don't mind. Just seeing you smile when you see my face (or the ceiling fan or window) is more than enough for me! This month has been full of smiles and it's wonderful. You have lots of coos and talk more each day. I feel you're destined to be a talker with the mom and dad you've been given.



Enjoying some tummy time with Daddy! Look at the strong neck!



What a sweet face!


When I was pregnant with you we prayed and prayed that you'd be a good sleeper. (Mommy doesn't do too well with a lack of sleep!) The Lord answered our prayers with a clear, resounding, "YES!" You slept 8 hours through the night at 5 and a half weeks. Now you're consistently doing 8 hours each night with a few 10 hour nights thrown in the mix. I must admit, I love it! After a quick feeding you're usually back to sleep in a few minutes and sleep for several more hours. You generally get a total of 12 hours of sleep each night. I'm so glad you're a good sleeper! Just like your momma, you love to have a handful of blanket when you fall asleep. You still enjoy being swaddled, but you seem to get your hands out of every swaddle we put you in! So you've taken a few naps on your tummy and napped really well. Our biggest struggle right now is keeping that silly pacifier in your mouth! With your arms tightly swaddled you can't do much to help so we've spent lots of late nights holding that paci in your mouth until you finally fall sound asleep. We are ready for you to learn to suck your thumb or stick the paci back in your mouth all by yourself!



Finally passed out!

All swaddled up! You look so snuggly!

That didn't last long! (Don't worry I moved the blanket away from your face shortly after you put it there!)

iPaci - Daddy's solution to the pacifier falling out!

Both hands wiggled free of the swaddle! You're like Houdini!

This month Gaga pulled out my baby photos and we discovered something shocking! You look just like me at your age! We found several pictures where we have the exact same expression on our faces. It's crazy! Until that point we had really thought you favored your daddy. Now when I look at your face I see a little mini-me. Your face is a little longer, your nose a little wider - but there's no doubt that you're mine! When I was little I always felt like no one in the family looked like me. I dreamed of having a baby that looked like me, even when no one in my family did. I'm so excited to see your blonde hair and big blue eyes. (I also love, love, LOVE those fat rolls on your arms and legs. You're just so precious!)



Mommy at 6 weeks



Caleb at 6 weeks

We are falling more in love with you each day. It is so fun being your Mom! I love watching your little personality develop. You are such a happy, easy going baby. There are days that I'm absolutely shocked that the Lord has blessed me with you. The Lord is so good to us and I can't wait to teach you all about Him! I love you sweet pumpkin doodle!



Your shirt says "Daddy's Best Friend"



Sweet, sleepy cuddles

Love,

 Mommy

A Dream Come True

When I was pregnant we had lots of conversations about whether baby Hammond would be a boy or a girl. We were both very torn about what we were having, however, I couldn't fathom the idea of a little boy. I wanted a girl so bad I could cry. I was terrified at the thought of having a boy! I knew nothing about having boys! Then one night, I had a dream. Even now, months later, I can still remember vivid details about that dream and it warms my heart. In my dream I was in the delivery room and my doctor handed me a beautiful baby boy with a head full of dark hair. He was a big baby but he was beautiful and he was mine. I snuggled him for a long time and even got to breastfeed in my dream. When I woke up, I cried. The dream was so real I felt like someone had taken my baby boy from me. I had an ache in my heart the rest of the day. Suddenly, in my heart, I knew this baby was a boy and I was thrilled to pieces. I couldn't imagine life any other way. Of course my first born was a boy! So that afternoon I went to Target and bought an outfit. I left the tags on and taped the receipt on the hanger - just in case. In the weeks that followed I had several more dreams and in every single one of them, the baby was a boy. Therefore, I wasn't very surprised when our sweet ultra sound tech told us the baby in my womb was, in fact, a boy. I cried tears of joy and my hands shook from excitement.

Today, I got out that little outfit I bought months ago. I was so excited to put it on my little boy. As I told him the story behind the clothes he was about to wear he looked at me and smiled. My heart soared as I dressed my dream come true. God has been so wonderful as He poured out blessings on our little family!

1 month pictures

I've had the same best friend since I was 4 years old. That's a whopping 25 years of friendship, laughter, and inside jokes. I often call her my womb to tomb friend. She's quite the special person in my life... For a very special baby gift, she decided to take some beautiful baby pictures of Caleb. So the day after Caleb turned a month old she came to visit and we spent an entire day photographing the cutest little boy on the planet. :) It is literally impossible for any of us to choose a favorite, so here's a random sampling of the pictures we enjoy. I think I could make an entire scrapbook of just the photos from that day. Thank you Natalie for a ton of fun and some amazing pictures!



I could kiss these cheeks all day!




Wearing Daddy's tie, all ready to begin his teaching career!




In the midst of taking pictures, Caleb grabbed the tie and started chowing down. Don't worry, I fed him soon after this picture was taken!



Sleeping angel



Napping with Pooh




I love that it looks like he fell asleep reading! Starting him off right!




Great baby, great name!



"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
How wonderful are Your works, I know that full well."
Psalm 139:14



I have no words. The cuteness just oozes from this picture!



This is Caleb's life verse:
"But my servant Caleb, because he has a different spirit and has followed Me fully, I will bring into the land into which he went, and his descendents shall possess it."
Numbers 14:24



I have a teddy bear just like this that I've loved on since I was 8 years old. Natalie searched the internet for days until she found a brand new bear, just like my Teddy. This is now Caleb's Teddy.




Another sweet sleeping angel! I love the fat rolls on his arms!




I love the expression on his face here!



One last picture in the Star Wars onesie for Daddy. (The snaps now come to his belly button.)
I just love the expression on his face here too!



Hiding from the paparazzi



Word to your mother!

What a sweet little smile!

I love the expression on DJ's face! He's such a proud Daddy!

1 Month

Dear Caleb,


You are a month old today. It doesn't seem possible! Has it only been a month since we met you? Has it already been a month since we met you? You're 31 days old but I feel as if I've loved you forever. I can't remember what life was like before you came along.



4 days old



  

1 month old



You are a very chill, relaxed, easy going baby. I think you have your daddy's temprament. As long as your belly is full and your diaper is clean and dry you're happy doing just about whatever! You've had some issues with gas this month and it breaks my heart to see your knees pull up and face grimace in pain. Despite that you are nursing like a champ! I'm amazed at how quickly you learned how to latch. You're gaining weight faster than I ever dreamed. I keep finding clothes you can no longer wear. There were a lot of newborn size clothes that you never got a chance to wear. You now fit comfortably in 3 month clothing. We don't go to the doctor this month so I weighed you on the Wii Fit. You weigh in at an amazing 12 pounds! Wow!



Someone put your head on sideways!



This week is the first week I've officially stayed home with you. We're trying to establish a routine and get used to life together. Through it all you remain happy and easy going. I love spending my days with you! You love holding your head up when we're holding you up in our lap, but you're not a fan of holding that head up during tummy time. In fact, most of the time I put you on your tummy you just fall asleep. You love laying on your back, however. You kick your legs and wiggle your arms and talk and coo away. I love just watching you! You've just started looking at your daddy and me when we talk or sing to you, but you'd much rather look at lights. I think your favorite is the curtains in the living room. Between the stripes on the curtains and the stripes in the blinds there's lots of patterns for you to stare at.

Sweet baby feet! These are his keepsake baby shoes...

You are a great sleeper! We've already seen you sleep 5 hours at night. Most nights you wake up, get a diaper change, eat, and immediately go to bed. Some nights you really enjoy spending time awake. You seem to want extra snuggles and refuse to go to sleep. As tired as I am the next day, I love spending the nights snuggling with you. No one else is around, your daddy is snoring, and it's just you and me. We've watched lots of movies together in the late hours of the night! I wouldn't trade it for the world!  

Those silly arms refuse to stay swaddled!

Your daddy and I love you so much! We can't believe our amazing luck that you're our son! I can't wait to watch you grow! I love you Sugar Bear!

Love,

Mommy





Sleep Deprivation

I'm working on a blog about Caleb turning a month old (wow!) but I'm having trouble narrowing down the 867 pictures we have of him to just a few for the post. I'll get to it eventually... :- )

Nothing says new parent quite like the exhaustion beyond all reason that's written all over their face and body. Hubsters and I are no exceptions to this rule. We've had many sleepless nights that led to far too many sleepless days. However, sometimes in the middle of the night sleep deprivation gets the better of you and all that's left is laughter. Allow me to illustrate...

One night I was trying to let DJ get some sleep so I was changing Caleb and re-swaddling him in all his layers. (This is normally DJ's job.) I was struggling to get it done because our son has incredibly strong arms that refuse to be swaddled! I finally went to wake DJ and ask for help since he's so much better than I am. He kept asking who needed to be swaddled and why they couldn't do it themselves. I giggled but kept working to get him out of bed. When he did, he grabbed his shorts and attempted to put them on. However, he couldn't lift his leg high enough and kept falling over into everything around him. I tried to tell him he didn't need shorts - just a swaddle but I was laughing way too hard. He got so mad that I was laughing but I simply couldn't stop.

There are a lot of times that I feed Caleb, get him back to sleep, and lay him down. The child has Spidey Senses and can tell the second my head hits the pillow because he inevitably chooses that second to spit up and cry because he's laying in a puddle. There have been SEVERAL nights that I've asked DJ to get up and comfort him to which he replies, "But you haven't fed him yet!" However, two nights ago I shook him awake because we needed to get up. He argued, quite passionately, with me that I hadn't fed him yet. It took quite a bit of arguing to convince him that I fed him three hours ago and that we needed to be up again. He was convinced I never fed him the first time.

There was one night that Caleb woke up to eat and was crying. DJ nudged me that we needed to get up. I promptly rolled over and snapped, "You gave him the medicine! You deal with it!" There was no medicine. There was no reason for this comment or the intesne anger I felt towards my husband.

I've also become very well known for rocking the bed back and forth when Caleb begins to cry in an attempt to calm him down. Caleb doesn't sleep in our bed! He sleeps across the room in a beautiful hand made cradle! Why do I feel the need to rock him to sleep in my bed? No clue!

However, my all time favorite story was from the first week we were home with Caleb. In that first week we were up every 2 hours to feed and I had to take some form of pain pill every 2-4 hours. One night in particular I was feeding Caleb, struggling to stay awake, while DJ snored loudly in the bed. (He's lucky I didn't throw something at him! I was so jealous of his sleep at that point!) Suddenly, the alarm on his phone went off alerting us that it was time to take a pain pill. Since I was feeding Caleb I called out his name and told him to turn off the alarm. He immediately reached over and began hitting his water glass, trying to turn off the sound. I giggled and reminded him that his phone was making noise. Without hesitating, he picked up the remote and said, "Hello? Hello? HELLO?" When I finally contained my laughter I told him what he was doing. He looked at me and said, "Shhhh! I'm on the phone!" It was all I could do to keep hold of Caleb as I laughed hysterically. Poor kid got a milk shake that night!


Sleep deprivation is an evil mistress! But praise the Lord that our little boy slept 7 hours last night! And then slept 5 hours after that! YAY! We're feeling much better today - especially my poor husband who has to get up in the morning and go to work each day. I have a hunch, however, that the nights of sleep deprivation are no where near an end. I expect that Caleb will have many more milk shakes before it's all said and done! :-)