2 years

Dear Caleb,

4 days old

1 year old

2 years old

 You are 2 years old! I can hardly wrap my brain around it! (I just checked - that's exactly what I said after your first birthday.) I handled your first birthday without a tear, but this birthday left me in a puddle of emotions... Your age is no longer counted by months. You are no longer a tiny little guy. You are now a big brother. You have an amazing little personality and are as strong willed as the day is long!You've grown a full foot taller this year and have moved into 2T clothes. Where did my tiny baby go?

By far, the biggest event that's happened recently is the birth of your little brother. On March 25th, Noah came into this world kicking and screaming! It's been a roller coaster of excitement and emotions, but you've done well. When Noah came home from the hospital we put him on the floor so you could get to know each other and you began bringing him all of your favorite trucks. I was so excited to see you trying to share with him! Noah cried a lot in those early months, but you didn't seem to mind at all. In fact, there were several times that you came to get me and brought me to your brother as he screamed in his bouncer. It warms my heart to see you interact with him. You'll love on him and bring him toys on your terms, but if Noah reaches out and touches you then you quickly run away!

You continue to love balls but have a special fondness for "dasketdolls" (basketballs). You love to play with cars and trucks (In fact, your big boy room is car themed.) but nothing makes you quite as happy as your box of balls. You spend hours playing soccer, catch, basketball, and tennis! You've got an amazing pitch, a fantastic swing with your tennis racquet, and a strong kick. We keep crayons and a coloring book on the table so you can color every day. You often ask us to draw dasketdolls, dootdolls, baseaballs, folfballs, wadda balls, and dig dolls. (basketballs, footballs, baseballs, golfballs, bowling balls, and big balls)

I'm amazed at how quickly you're learning new words! I was actually concerned that you were behind in your language skills because all you were doing was grunting. Then one day you said "More milk please mom!" You little booger! You've had the words all along but you're so smart you've discovered it's easier to just grunt. I still can't believe how long you got away with it! Now we're forcing you into using words more often and I'm discovering you have an amazing vocabulary. However, you're stubborn streak has come out in full force and you are determined to continue to grunt. When we ask you to use your words you say "No!" Good grief little man!

You love to laugh and are super curious about the world around you. Your best friend is your daddy and you follow him everywhere. He's had extra time off this summer and he's spent a lot of it with you. I'm not looking forward to having the two of you separated in August when school starts again... However, we're going to start our own version of homeschooling this fall and I think you'll enjoy the new challenge in your day. You are proving to be an extremely smart little boy! You know all your capital letters, your shapes, your colors, and your numbers. In fact, the other day I asked you what color my shirt was. You confidently answered "Pink!" I was shocked. We have not talked about the color pink and you don't usually use the pink crayon. I asked you where you learned the color pink and, without hesitation, you said "Bot!" Looks like you've learned colors from Team Umizoomi - which is still your favorite show. You enjoy watching PAW Patrol, as well, but Team Umizoomi is absolutely your show of choice! You still suck your thumb and carry around your precious waffle weave blanket. It is a precious part of your world that I deeply cherish!

I am so blessed to be your mom! I can't get over how lucky I am to have you in my family. You are cheerful and loving and a true joy to be around! When I think of you at 2 years old, I will remember your infectious laughter and your excitement over "dasketdolls" and every kind of construction equipment we might see! I love you so much, my sweet pumpkin and can't wait to see how you grow in the months to come. I pray for you daily and know God is going to do mighty things through your sweet heart!

Love,
Mommy

3 months

Dear Noah,

You turned 3 months old on June 25th. Today is July 13th. You will be 4 months old in less than 2 weeks. I've sat down countless times to write you this letter and something always happens. You and your brother are not the best sleepers at the moment and I feel like I'm going non-stop every day. Your dad is also off for the summer and we've been enjoying a lot of wonderful family time! It has been such a blessing to have the extra time as a family of 4. I have needed every second with your dad home as we adjust to scheduling both of you boys.

I feel like this month brought us a whole new baby! You suddenly love to coo and talk and give these amazing smiles that melt my heart every time! One day you suddenly decided to eat every 3 hours during the day and go a beautiful 8 hours at night and you rarely look back. You are suddenly very happy and a true joy to be around. I can't believe I'm lucky enough to be your mom!

You still fit comfortably in 0-3 month clothes and I am so glad! You've gotten to wear my favorite outfits several times. :) The biggest accomplishment of this month was you suddenly learning to roll over. One day your dad and brother were playing outside while I enjoyed the A/C inside with you. I was taking pictures of how well you held your head up on your tummy when you suddenly fell to the side and flipped right over! I thought it was just a fluke but you did it again when I flipped you back to your tummy! I ran outside to tell your dad the exciting news and you promptly refused to do it again. You just buried your face in your blanket and cried. You've rolled over several times since then, but that day you were just done!

We've been so busy living life together that I've forgotten a lot of what we did, but I have a ton of pictures because you're just the most adorable baby on the planet!!! I love you my little Sugar Bear! Thank you for your sweet smiles and snuggles! I love every single day with you!

  

Love,

Mommy

 

My sweet Noah

Dear Noah,

Can I be honest for a moment? Being a mommy is the hardest thing I've ever done! It's absolutely worth every moment, but it's a tough job. I can't tell you how often I worry that I'm doing something wrong - that I'll mess up so badly that you and Caleb will never recover.

But tonight, when you got fussy during dinner, my mommy heart knew just what to do. I bundled you up in your favorite Winnie the Pooh blanket, stuck your pacifier in your mouth, and headed to our favorite chair. In moments I felt you relax into me as your eyes slowly shut. I may question myself more times than you can imagine, but tonight my heart knew I did something right. While your daddy cleaned up the kitchen (thank you Daddy!) I sat and just snuggled you close. I want to remember how big you feel in my arms because in the blink of an eye you won't fit anymore and I'll long for you to be little again. I want to remember how your soft brown hair sticks straight up - kind of like a baby monkey! I never want to forget those gorgeous long lashes or the perfect curve of your tiny ear. I want to snuggle you close while you grab a fist full of blanket and pull it close to your face. I tried to put you down so I could help daddy clean but you immediately protested leaving the warmth of my arms. Without hesitating, I scooped you back up and pulled you in close. You nuzzled your face down into my arm - like you needed to breathe in my scent to make sure it was really me. In no time at all, your eyes were closed again and you were sleeping soundly.

In the wonderful, snuggle-filled moments - I love you! In the stressful, tear-filled moments - I love you! I am so glad you're my little boy and I promise to love you - no matter  what. But can you stay little for a while? I know how fleeting these sweet sleepy snuggly moments are! I love you my precious Noah! Always and forever...

Love,
Mommy

2 months

 Note: I've written this post several times, but my computer keeps blowing it away! With two little boys under two years old, life is busy most of the time. I struggle to find time to sit down and write this post once - forget having to write it three times! 

Dear Noah,

I remember thinking 2 months flew by when your brother was little. But I feel like you've always been a part of our family! I can hardly remember what life was like before you joined us! The first month was rough - I won't lie! But this month I feel like we've turned a corner. We have learned a few tricks and tips that help calm you down and it's made a huge difference! You love when we sing the William Tell Overture while we bounce you up and down. You want to be wrapped up in a big blanket with your blanket across your cheek. (You hate to be cold.) You don't want to have your arms swaddled down to your side - you'd much rather have them up by your face. You love to sleep on your tummy in your bed or on your side in the swing. I've learned that caffeine and strawberries aggravate your reflux. Learning that bit of information made me quite sad but it's worth it just so you aren't in pain! You've become a much better nurser in the past month and are much more efficient. That's good news for all of us!

At the doctor today you weighed 12lbs, 5.5oz and were 23 1/4 inches long. Your weight has bloomed up to the 75% and Dr. Thomason kept commenting on how big you are. But after watching your brother ride the 98th percentile for a long time, you're still tiny to me. I love seeing the fat rolls on your thighs and your sweet, round belly. You slowly graduated out of newborn diapers and I expected the same thing for your newborn clothes. I always look forward to just one last time to wear my favorite outfits in a particular size. Instead, you woke up one day and none of your newborn clothes fit anymore. You all of a sudden needed 0-3 month clothes! I was quite surprised!

The day you turned 7 weeks old, you gave me your first very purposeful smile! The weeks of sleepless nights seemed to fade away in that precious moment. You're smiling more and more and give us lots of sweet coos. It warms my heart more than I ever could have dreamed!

This month, I remarked several times that you looked less like your brother and more like "Noah". Then we found a few pictures of your brother at 2 months old and I realized just how wrong I was. You look much more like Caleb than I thought! Growing up, I never looked much like my siblings. What a blessing to know you boys look so much like brothers!

Both of you at your 2 month appointments. Caleb is on the left.

This month I got to celebrate my second Mother's Day! Last year I hadn't even started to dream about adding another baby to our family, and now here you are! It wasn't the biggest celebration ever since I came down with a vicious stomach bug and it was round 3 of the bug for our house. (Your brother and daddy got it first...) But it was still a wonderful day full of love and snuggles. I am so blessed to be your mommy! I never could have dreamed that God would give me 2 precious snuggle bugs!

This month you also got to take your first trip to Waco to see Gaga and PaPaw! You weren't a fan of being in your car seat for that long, but we survived. You rewarded everyone there with a weekend full of snuggles and smiles! Your brother didn't sleep much while we were there so your sweet smile was a true joy for your sleepy parents.

Even through the sleep deprivation and the long, tough days I am madly in love with you my little Snicker Snacker! I'm so lucky to be your Mom! You are my precious little guy and I am blessed to watch you grow! Just don't grow too fast, please. I love you my Sugar Bear!

Love,
Mommy

Come Lord Jesus!

Dear Caleb and Noah,

It's been a rough couple of days at our house. Caleb has had a nasty virus and Noah has been battling reflux. There have been a lot of tears and a lot of time spent snuggling our two precious boys. As I rocked Caleb one night, his body burning with fever, I sang old hymns I remember from years and years in church. As I rocked Noah in the middle of the night and struggled to keep my eyes open I thought of the popular song, "God loves a lullaby in a mother's tears in the dead of night better than a hallelujah sometimes." My sweet boys, we live in a fallen, broken world. A world full of disease and bodies that don't work right and heartache beyond what I can express. A world so oppressed by sin that we see but a fraction of the glory God created. As I sang those old hymns to Caleb I found myself longing for the day The Lord will return and call us home. No more viruses that make us sick. No more reflux that burns our chest. No more sin warping our view of God's brilliant creation. My heart aches over the world you will grow up in - this world that pulls and tugs and distorts Truth. This world of scary bad guys and quiet lies and a revolution that threatens the definition of family.

Singing those hymns to Caleb Friday night I found my heart begging Christ to return and set us free! To call us Home and free us from the bondage of sin and death. It hurts to see you boys suffer in a broken world and I longed for the freedom of Heaven more than ever before.

But then, in the middle of the night as I rocked Noah, I remembered the verse I'd discussed with your Aunt Megan just hours before. "They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of The Lord for the display of His splendor." (Isaiah 61:3) That verse is my prayer for you - my strong boys. I pray that God would plant you firmly in the soil of Truth - that you would display His splendor!

I hate that you have to grow up in a world that is so opposed to the Truth that defines our lives. I hate that you boys will always have to fight culture tooth and nail in order to stand for what is right. But I know if God doesn't choose to call us all home, then He's going to plant you firmly and call you to stand as tall as a mighty oak! I love you, my precious boys. I love you so deeply my heart can hardly comprehend it. Please know that even in the rough weekends when you're both sick and my head is spinning from trying to clean up the throw up - I'm praying. I'm praying for your hearts to know Truth. I'm praying for your lives to display the splendor of the God who made you. I'm praying that you will be world changers!

I love you both!
Love,
Mommy

18 months

Note: I wrote this post in January when Caleb was actually 18 months old. But in January I was put on bed rest for the remainder of my pregnancy and life got a little crazy... When I wrote Noah's 1 month post, I found this letter waiting to be spiced up with a few pictures and posted. It's amazing how much he's changed now at 21 months!


Dear Caleb,

You are 18 months old! A year and a half! How in the world is that possible? (How often do I say that?) You have blossomed into this amazing little boy who is a whole lot more toddler than baby! You are a blur of motion most of the time. You are all boy, all action, all the time. Everything you can pick up becomes something to hit with or throw. I have wondered when you'd really begin to talk but the past few weeks, you've come out of your shell. I hear 2-3 new words each day! You also pick up sign language at an amazing pace. I find myself making up signs for fruit because you're desperate for a way to ask for the fruit you love, but don't have the words to do so yet. The only sign you refuse to use is banana, but that's ok because one of your newest words is "bana". I think it's precious and I try to find ways to make you say it throughout the day.

At your 18 month check up you were 85% for height, 75% for weight, and 98% for head circumference. I was quite surprised to find out you were ahead of every single developmental milestone Dr. Thomason mentioned. Not sure why that surprised me as much as it did - I've always known you were a smart boy. You can identify a star without fail and usually know a heart. You're also finding more and more letter "C's" in books. What a brilliant little man you are!

You have a host of words that make a regular appearance, and several that we only hear once in a while. My favorite is when you run across the room screaming "Mama" as loud as you can! You also say daw (dog), ow-si (outside), doll (ball), yesh (yes), tar (star), daaa-da (Daddy), aw don (all done), das (lights - especially Christmas lights), and mmmmm (moo). Every now and then we catch an "I love you" and it melts every heart that hears it. You also say "a-da" or "a-za" all the time but we have no clue what it means! You have typical toddler babble, but "a-da" is often said when you are pointing to something and wanting me to understand what you're saying. One of these days I'll figure it out little boy...

Your favorite toy, by far, is your box full of balls. In fact, I told everyone that you didn't need anything for Christmas except lots and lots of balls. (Don't worry - your grandparents were more than happy to oblige!) There's not a day that goes by that I don't stumble over a smattering of balls in every room in the house. You also really enjoy the potato masher. I think you're confused about why Mommy keeps such a fantastic toy in the kitchen! You run all over the house, hitting everything you can think of. Nothing is safe - including the dogs! After we took down the Christmas tree we left the furniture where it was and transformed the tree corner into a toy corner. It took you about 3 seconds to realize what a fantastic invention this is and now spend your day dumping out toys and cleaning them up. (And occasionally throwing a few balls across the room!)

You are also very much obsessed with stars. If you spy a star and we don't recognize it, you will stop everything and throw a fit until we acknowledge that there is in fact a star there. Gaga writes you letters with star stickers all over it and it is the best day of your week! We spend a good hour taking the stickers off the letter and sticking them on your hands and arms. When you're having a rough day, nothing will turn it around quite like an episode of Team Umizoomi. Your daddy and I have several episodes memorized and have found ourselves singing the theme song - even when you're not around. Praise the Lord for modern technology that lets us watch it anytime, day or night. You've grown quite attached to your waffle weave blankets. In fact, if I don't get the laundry put away fast enough, you'll insist on carrying both of them around at once. I must admit, when you were born people gave you lots of things that they hoped would become your security item. I (not so secretly) always hoped you'd choose the waffle weave blankets. It warms my heart to see you carry them around the house. I love sticking them in the diaper bag each time we leave home. It's a precious part of being a toddler I know you won't keep forever. But for now, it's a part I cherish more than you can imagine!

Lately, our home has become a flurry of activity as we prepare for the biggest change of your young life! In just 2 short months you'll officially be a big brother! We talk about baby Noah growing in my tummy and have told you that you're going to move into a big boy room (which isn't much more than an empty room with half-way painted walls at the moment), but I often wonder how much you understand. It's a big life change that's coming, little man. Please know how often I pray that the Lord will prepare your heart in ways we can't. I rest in knowing that when He chose to give us you, He knew that He'd also give us Noah. God knew what your family would look like long before we did! He knew you'd be a big brother at 20 months and He knew Noah would be the baby brother. God is amazing and has a perfect plan for your life. I'm awe-struck that I get to a front row seat to watch it all unfold.

When I look back over the last 6 months, I can see how your personality has grown as you stretched your legs into toddler-hood. Your food allergies to milk, egg, and peanuts remain but we're starting to see signs that maybe they're not as severe as they used to be. Maybe you'll grow out of some of them! You have a stubborn, independent streak that doesn't surprise me at all. But you are also happy and easy going most of the time. Your heart is big and you love deeply. Your laugh can light up a room and it fills my heart with joy overflowing. Those gorgeous blue eyes still captivate me every time you turn your head, and your blonde hair gets blonder by the day! After your first hair cut, I let it grow for quite a while and was thrilled to see the curls come back. It's starting to get long again and part of me kind of wants to see if the curls will come back once more. I love you more than I ever thought possible, my sweet pumpkin! You are my dear little buddy and I'm so blessed to be your Mommy!

I love you! Soooo much!

Love,
Mommy

1 month

Dear Noah,

4 days old

One month old

You are a month old! I can hardly believe it's been a month since you surprised us with your early arrival. Before you were born I wondered how my heart would manage loving another child as deeply as I loved Caleb. But those early days in the hospital proved I had nothing to fear! I was instantly in love with this tiny baby who looked so much like his brother! Everything about you was absolutely perfect and I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have two precious boys to cradle in my arms.

The first thing your daddy said when he saw you was, "Oh my gosh! He looks just like Caleb!" Your baby pictures are identical and I'm kinda worried about bring able to tell them apart in a few years. I need to get organized now! But your looks are where your similarities end. You are quiet and only talk when there's not much going on around you. However, you are not afraid to let us know when you're not happy! You have a set of lungs on you louder than anything your brother ever threw at us. :) Where Caleb was a fast, veracious eater, your motto is "slow and steady wins the race." We struggled with nursing at first but we're trucking along now! Within a month I knew Caleb had a pretty serious milk allergy. I'm still not sure if you'll have food allergies but we're battling a nasty round of reflux! Right now the Zantac is making a difference and I'm so thankful! You don't cry as often and I'm learning a few tricks to help keep your tummy happy. But you know, even after hours of screaming, my heart swells when you settle down at the sound of my voice. I can't describe the love I feel when you snuggle in close and you sigh like my arms are finally the relief you've been looking for. In those moments when we nurse in the middle of the night - those moments when I'm absolutely exhausted - those moments when I can't see straight for all the stress in the room - it's in those moments that I know you belong here. You belong in our family just as naturally as oxygen belongs in your lungs. God knew what He was doing when He gave us you. He knew how deeply I'd fall in love with this tiny Snicker Snacker named Noah!

At your one month check up you weighed 9lbs, 1oz and were 20 and 3-4" long. Your weight gain is slow and steady and I'm thrilled! You're getting to wear all of the newborn clothes Caleb never wore and you still fit in those adorable tiny newborn diapers! I actually prayed for a smaller baby this time around so I could enjoy you being tiny for a little while before you grew...

You got to celebrate your first holiday at just 3 weeks old. You were too little for us to leave the house, so we didn't go to Easter service. But we did get to enjoy some precious family time! Your Granny, Grandaddy, Aunt Nerfer, and cousins came over for lunch and a fun egg hunt! You slept and nursed through almost all of the festivities, but I did sneak a few pictures when you had your eyes open. My heart was so full just knowing we could celebrate as a family of 4.

I love you so much, my little Snicker Snacker! I'm so thankful that God gave us you! I'm truly enjoying every sleepless moment... Please stay little for just a bit longer! I need to snuggle you some more!

Love,
Mommy