Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Hallowed Ground

Today I'm keenly aware of how fast Caleb is growing up. I looked at him in the cradle this morning and was shocked to realize the cradle that once seemed so large was now filled end to end with baby. During floor time today Caleb mastered playing with a toy he's been fiddling with for a month. This week we've moved nursing from every 3 hours to every 4 during the day. Nursing sessions that once lasted an exhausting 45 minutes now fly by at only 10 minutes. So when my (not so little) boy fought his nap with every ounce of his 3 month old being, I set aside my to do list. I stopped worrying about dishes to be washed and laundry to be put away. As I leaned over his crib and patted his bottom until my back ached, I realized something. I was standing on hallowed ground. This moment wouldn't last forever. This moment was a sacred moment of just me and my son. He won't need me forever. He won't want to snuggle forever. Then I thought of my friend with empty arms because Jesus called her baby home too soon. I thought of my friend who is being called home to Jesus and her babies won't have their momma to rock them to sleep. I thought of my own mother who can't rock her babies to sleep because they're rocking babies of their own. So there I stood, on holy ground, knowing how I'd longed to be a mother, knowing how blessed I was to have not just any baby but THIS baby, knowing how lucky I am to stay home while Caleb is young. There in that moment I had 2 options: continue to attempt to get Caleb to sleep in a cold crib, all alone; or scoop up my bundle of joy and hold him for as long as he'd let me. Now here I sit - on the hallowed ground of my rocking chair - while my baby fights nap time in my arms. I wouldn't dream of my day going any other way!

1 comment:

Sally Hammond said...

I am so proud to have you for a daughter in law. You are always thinking of that precious baby boy more than yourself. You see the big picture and so many women do not do that. They think about themselves not about others. I am very proud of you and you are a wonderful mommy!